Book Club Guide: My Friends by Fredrik Backman

Beyond the Page • July 4, 2025

Summary

My Friends follows the interconnected lives of a group of unlikely friends in a small Swedish town. Their lives, marked by both joy and hardship, are woven together through shared experiences, unexpected challenges, and the enduring power of friendship. The story explores the complexities of human relationships, the search for meaning, and the importance of community in the face of life's uncertainties.

Before you Read

  • Think about your own closest friendships. What qualities do you value most in these relationships?
  • Consider a time you faced a significant challenge. How did you cope, and who offered support?
  • Reflect on the role community plays in your life. How do you connect with others, and what sense of belonging do you feel?

Reading Roadmap

(Adjust based on your edition's chapter/page count)

  • Week 1: Chapters 1-5
  • Week 2: Chapters 6-10
  • Week 3: Chapters 11-15
  • Week 4: Chapters 16-End

Themes

  • Friendship: The novel explores the complexities and rewards of deep, lasting friendships, highlighting their ability to provide support, challenge, and unconditional love.
  • Community: The importance of community and belonging are central, showcasing how shared experiences and connections create meaning and resilience.
  • Resilience: The characters demonstrate remarkable resilience in the face of adversity, demonstrating the human capacity to overcome challenges and find strength within themselves and others.
  • Acceptance: The story subtly examines the process of self-acceptance and acceptance of others, regardless of perceived differences or flaws.
  • Second Chances: The novel explores the idea of second chances in relationships and the potential for personal growth and transformation.

Discussion Questions

  • How does Backman portray the different types of friendships depicted in the novel? Which relationships resonated most with you and why?
  • The characters face various challenges. How do they cope, and what lessons can be learned from their experiences?
  • How does the setting of the small town contribute to the overall narrative and the relationships between the characters?
  • What role does humor play in the book, and how does it affect the reader's emotional engagement with the story?
  • What is the most significant message or takeaway from My Friends ? How does it impact your own understanding of friendship, community, or life in general?

Cocktail Recipe

The "Bear Hugs" Cocktail

Ingredients:
  • 2 oz. Bourbon or Rye Whiskey
  • 1 oz. Maple Syrup
  • 0.75 oz. Fresh Lemon Juice
  • 2 Dashes Angostura Bitters
  • Optional: Orange peel for garnish
Instructions:
  • Combine whiskey, maple syrup, lemon juice, and bitters in a shaker with ice.
  • Shake well until thoroughly chilled.
  • Strain into a rocks glass filled with ice.
  • Garnish with an orange peel (optional).

Recommended Reading

  • Anxious People by Fredrik Backman: More quirky characters and heartwarming relationships in a unique Backman style.
  • A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman: If you enjoyed the grumpy but lovable characters, this is a must-read.
  • Evvie Drake Starts Over by Anna Beth McPartlin: A heartwarming story of second chances and rediscovering life's joys.